Let’s Talk #10- RESILIENCEAugust 15, 2020 2021-05-27 22:27
Let’s Talk #10- RESILIENCE
Let’s Talk #10- RESILIENCE
If there is only one thing we can teach our children let it be RESILIENCE. Resilience means knowing how to cope in spite of setbacks, or barriers, or limited resources. Resilience is a measure of how much you want something and how much you are willing, and able, to overcome obstacles to get it. It has to do with one’s emotional strength..
Additional reading: https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-tips-for-raising-resilient-kids/
Let’s explore further in the acronym.
Start with teaching our children to be responsible for their choices. Depending on the age of your child ensure that they take responsibility for doing at least the basic chores independently. The daily mundane chores which need not be always interesting or fun all the time eg: making one’s own bed, taking care of one’s body – hygiene and healthy eating, clearing one’s own room , being responsible for one’s own belongings and so on.
Encourage them to take responsibility by not doing everything for them all the time. It is okay that they make mistakes or even fail in multiple attempts. It is important that they face the logical consequences of messing up while you can be around to support their feelings of hurt and regret without being punitive. Do not eliminate risk taking entirely for fear of failure.
Solution is almost every problem begins with oneself. Show them how you deal with problems and how you are being solution focussed. Also, do not be in a hurry to offer a solution to every problem your child faces. Wait alongside and let them come up with their own solutions and be there only as a guide or mentor.
When faced with failures or mistakes that probably cannot be undone, allow your children to introspect before rushing into any harsh punishment. Listen to them and listen more to all the other alternative choices they could have made to avoid the mistake or failure and what they would do in future when faced with a similar situation. As parents, it is also good to introspect on our own failures and mistakes. It is important for children to see how we cope with failure and mistakes.
#Laugh at oneself
Laughter is a great tool to help us move on. Taking life too seriously can sometimes drag one down into an emotional turmoil. Humour can change the tone and help one think or alternatives with a little ease of mind. Laughing at oneself helps one deal with a blunder or mistake with ease and not get offended at too quickly when mistakes are pointed out.
Encourage curiosity, it is okay not to have an answer to all their “why” questions but do not stop them from asking. Let them be curious about everything around and encourage them to think before googling.
To keep energies intact one had to spend the energy. Physical activity either or indoors or outdoors must be explored. A sedentary life and drain one’s energy. When one exercises, a hormone like adrenaline is released. This hormone actually tells our bodies to ignore feelings of pain and fatigue while enhancing blood flow to large muscles.
#NO is used and accepted
Children should be taught to take NO for an answer and also be encouraged to set boundaries around themselves and be able to say NO when needed. There should be healthy discussion in the family about the word NO is not always a bad word. It will be important to explain the reason for saying NO too.
#Cry and #Cope
It is okay to cry and this is irrespective of the gender of your child. As parents let us not be in a hurry to hush the children up when they cry. Be there and let them get it out until they are ready to speak about the hurt or pain. Similarly it is important for children to know to some extent what hurts you as well and it is okay that they see you cry and how you cope and move on. Happiness is not the only important emotion for effective coping one has to recognize and understand all other emotions too.
The most difficult of all. Children do what we do. They are very good at imitation. So be the example and the model that you want them to emulate.